MINI-MOM TO THE RESCUE!

I soon discovered that after Anderson's departure that for me to achieve tremendously damaging things to my physical body became very simple if you just decided to "let go!" My weight at the time was 165 pounds. I lost 55 pounds without even thinking about it. I had an ongoing low-grade temperature. At first Mother came to stay with me and (Oh, we mustn't forget her "friend".....Top Shelf Vodka! Aahahahaha) When she was lucid she was powerful, but she just could not really cope with the idea of loosing Anderson and her bottle was a comfort to her most of the time) For me, NOTHING could give me any kinds of escape from the reality of this sudden loss. Shortly, I had to be put into the hospital.
Patricia, my sister, immediately took over this overwhelming situation. She attempted to guide Mother and at the same time, her own life and become a Mini-Mom in action of my life! She was involved in much at a University where she held a top position at the same time. She would run in from Long Island to Manhattan to the hospital and get immediate information from my doctor. Always, what is his condition? What is wrong with him, etc.? And she would get the same answers, which she would relay to me: "MARSHALL DOESN'T EAT ANYTHING AND HE DOESN'T SEEM TO EVEN CARE ABOUT LIVING?" "THERE IS NOTHING AFTER 100'S OF TESTS TO SHOW EXCEPT HE IS LOOSING WEIGHT FROM NOT EATING AND STAYS IN A DARK HOSPITAL ROOM STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW?"
Soon I was back home after a few weeks and in my bedroom with Mother attending to me as best she could do. One early evening, Patricia arrives with her daughter and announces, "Mother will be leaving tonight". I of course went wild.......YOU ARE GOING TO LEAVE A DYING MAN HERE ALONE WITHOUT HIS MOTHER??? NO! SHE HAS TO STAY HERE WITH ME! Patricia, calmly looked at me and said, "We have just stacked your refrigerator and pantry shelves with food and you are all set. Mother is all packed and ready to go with us." I was outraged. "No. She cannot leave. Mother you are not leaving with them......" Mother was finishing up a "cocktail" and said, "They want me to go now......So, I have to go now. You will be fine." I cannot even remember what happened after that scene, except, I suddenly found myself alone in my apartment??? They had all left.
Holding on to the walls and preparing myself to be alone now, I walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. It was difficult to stand. I looked at myself in the mirror and said out loud, "You don't look too good. Maybe you should figure out what you are going to do about things".
I almost crawled to the bathroom and turned the light on and looked in the mirror. Again I said, "You don't look too good". Then I cried. I looked down at the floor as I cried and then looked back up in the mirror at myself, BUT.............I was not there? It was Anderson, laughing and looking at me. He said, "Mr. Hill (He always would call me, "Mr. Hill when attempting to tease me.") calm down, it's not that serious! You have to get well again." And then he was gone............ It was all so natural and casual the way it happened. I simply said... "Yeah, I do". I went to my room and turned the television on and watched the BBC show, "Are You Being Served" and laughed before going to sleep.

More later..........

Love and Light,
Marshall