The things we will discover by doing so, will sometimes be amazing!=)
Our spiritual awareness rises far above narrow physical perceptions and we begin to "see" there is so much more going on in our worlds of existence.
I told you that as a small boy I had been molested both sexually and mentally by a relative. But as a little boy I had been able to push it deep into the back of my mind. Not remembering which male member it was for so long in my life.
With time as I have mentioned in my previous blog, I am not really sure as to the absolute results if those events. My gifts of metaphysical abilities were heightened due to trauma or inherited from Mother? In any case, as I said, I was put into a hospital for observation and treatment for an "unknown nervous" condition which I seemed to develop.
My parents were enabled to put me in one of the finest hospitals in New York City, due to the generosity of a great and wonderful family, whom both my Mother and Father were working for many years. They loved my parents and my family very much and always especially loved, Mother!
During my stay in the hospital for several months of tests and observations, etc. There was one physician who visited me just about every day. And every day he would sexually molest me. It was a very, very uncomfortable experience because I blamed myself for his actions. (I was a child suspecting these examinations that he would perform were strange and wrong?) In my mind, I was under the impression, that somehow, someway, he "knew" that I had been abused and this was his opportunity to do likewise.
He would always ask me the same question: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? HOW DOES IT FEEL? I was horrified to answer. I would think to myself, WHAT DO I SAY? IF I SAY I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU ARE DOING, HE MIGHT SAY I AM LYING. I DON'T WANT HIM TO CALL ME A LIAR. IF I SAY I LIKE IT, I WILL BE A AWFUL LITTLE BOY. So, I always answered the same: NOTHING I GUESS? IT'S ALRIGHT I GUESS? (I was so afraid of him....I did not hate him, I just was always praying he would leave as soon as possible!)
I always dreaded his arrivals and became very nervous and timid when he would enter the room and close the curtains. Did it change my sexual development in any way? NO......it made me sad and ask the question to myself for many years, DID I DESERVE THIS TREATMENT? WAS I ASKING FOR THESE UGLY ACTS UPON MY PHYSICAL BODY? I had been admitted into a place for treatment and it seemed uncanny that I was once again being further injured by the same actions?
I remember once, my Mother and Father came to visit me and he had just entered my room within minutes before their arrival. I saw them outside of the glass windows and was happy. The doctor immediately told them that they would have to wait a few minutes because he had to do something.
He closed the curtains so that they could view nothing and he performed as usual his abusive sexual act upon a young boy. ME.
Afterwards, he opened the curtains and greeted my parents and invited them into my room and departed.
The first question out of Mother's mouth to me was, WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU? (My Father seemed oblivious) But, Mother was a woman and a loving mother. I knew she loved me very much and she cared so much about my welfare. I quickly said, OH, HE EXAMINED ME. The subject was dropped.
Did I become the VICTIM and carry these secrets inside of me and blame my parents for their neglect or inappropriate rearing of their child? Nope.
Here once again I ask the question to be considered: WAS THIS PHYSICIAN INVOLVED IN A CONTRACT TO PERFORM A DISTURBING ACT UPON ME AS A YOUNG CHILD, DUE TO THE PLAN WE HAD MADE BEFORE COMING HERE, BECAUSE MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I WAS GOING TO BE PORTRAYING THE OTHER CHARACTER THAT I MIGHT HAVE ABUSED IN ANOTHER LIFETIME? Was I to experience the feelings of sadness and despair of a small child that I "might" have abused in another lifetime? In order to grow spiritually. To advance my soul.
I ask this question to be considered because so many have become VICTIMS and ruined their journey when moving forward by becoming "stuck" with this situation?
Even though I did not like it or felt sad and helpless...I MOVED ON! I survived and continued to move on forward to find new adventures in my life on this planet, without permitting myself to become a VICTIM!
In closing, WAS THIS PHYSICIAN/SPIRIT PERFORMING AN ACT THAT HAD "ONCE BEEN DONE TO HIM?
More later,
Love and Light!
Marshall
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
THE DOWNSIDE TO GROWING UP WITH SPECIAL ABILITIES TO "SEE"
Recently, I reflected back to the days of growing up and how the "unexplained" physical events were a part of my life. During my thoughts of the past, I suddenly realized how similar most of those that I had come in contact with had the same physical attacks!
The amazingly painful and sudden attacks of outrageous headaches. (No these were not migraines). My time spent in the hospital for weeks under observation by various Specialists to evaluate, to no success, the violent and uncontrolled attacks of nervousness. Of course in order for the physicians to justify their work, they would label my case with some medical term, which later after much research I would find out that this was totally untrue.
The sudden fevers that would rise to heights of my being rushed into a bathtub containing water and ice cubes. But in conclusion, no label for its cause? No matter how many tests. Sometimes I thought these doctors and lab technicians would draw so much blood from my body that I would have no more left to survive, ahahahhahahahhahahahha!
I have met others similar to myself, and the answers after comparing notes were always the same, THEY NEVER KNEW WHY? But we were all very similar in our paranormal experiences!
Oh by the way, there were various Psychiatrists that had much to say to me during sessions, but I suppose even those situations were "gifts" due to the fact that none of them would be able to conclude that I was traumatized or abused in any way? They would all say, he is just a nervous child, he will be fine with time. And once again, I repeat to all of those so called, VICTIMS out there... and even if I had unwillingly chose to suppress these horrible events, I was not a depressed or sad child. I suppose it was my gift to manifest an adventurous and fantasy world of glee for myself! It all must have come so natural. It all must have been a part of a plan in order for me to survive and continue and with time ....... "everything has its' season, everything has its' time......." (Stephen Schwartz) CORNER OF THE SKY. Ooooh, I sang that song so many times as an adult. Wow, those lyrics were certainly telling me something important! At the correct time of my life. I suppose it was a part of the plan?
More later,
Love and Light!
Marshall
The amazingly painful and sudden attacks of outrageous headaches. (No these were not migraines). My time spent in the hospital for weeks under observation by various Specialists to evaluate, to no success, the violent and uncontrolled attacks of nervousness. Of course in order for the physicians to justify their work, they would label my case with some medical term, which later after much research I would find out that this was totally untrue.
The sudden fevers that would rise to heights of my being rushed into a bathtub containing water and ice cubes. But in conclusion, no label for its cause? No matter how many tests. Sometimes I thought these doctors and lab technicians would draw so much blood from my body that I would have no more left to survive, ahahahhahahahhahahahha!
I have met others similar to myself, and the answers after comparing notes were always the same, THEY NEVER KNEW WHY? But we were all very similar in our paranormal experiences!
Oh by the way, there were various Psychiatrists that had much to say to me during sessions, but I suppose even those situations were "gifts" due to the fact that none of them would be able to conclude that I was traumatized or abused in any way? They would all say, he is just a nervous child, he will be fine with time. And once again, I repeat to all of those so called, VICTIMS out there... and even if I had unwillingly chose to suppress these horrible events, I was not a depressed or sad child. I suppose it was my gift to manifest an adventurous and fantasy world of glee for myself! It all must have come so natural. It all must have been a part of a plan in order for me to survive and continue and with time ....... "everything has its' season, everything has its' time......." (Stephen Schwartz) CORNER OF THE SKY. Ooooh, I sang that song so many times as an adult. Wow, those lyrics were certainly telling me something important! At the correct time of my life. I suppose it was a part of the plan?
More later,
Love and Light!
Marshall
Saturday, October 16, 2010
VICTIMS PART 2
I never really knew why, but we all called my grandmother ( Mother's Mother) BIG MAMA? As I said previously, Mother was born when Big Mama was 16 and besides being a young woman she was also very attractive and had excellent taste in clothes.
I always remember Big Mama (maybe it was a Southern thing?) beautifully dressed and holding a cigarette and a cocktail when relaxing. I was always trying to cater to her because, I always knew I was "second" to my brother and wanted her to pay equal attention and show me favors also. BUT, it did not really happen and besides, I never became or saw myself as a VICTIM due to this situation.
As I said earlier, I created my own special world. And this is why I probably did not realize at the time, but Big Mama was giving me a great gift in my life!
There was a big tornado in our town once and Big Mama was shopping a great distance from home. My brother and I were alone. Big Mama called on the phone from a department store to ask what was happening at home? Where was my brother? I simply and calmly said, ALL IS WELL HERE. HE IS HIDING UNDER THE YOUR BED, HE IS TERRIFIED! She told us to stay inside and be calm until she got home. I said goodbye and ran outside into the street singing and laughing happily. The streets were empty except for huge winds blowing through the area. I could literally see the huge cone shaped tornado in the distance and it made me even more excited and happy. I jumped up and down and danced and sang and soon ran back into the house to tease my brother. I peeped under the bed and yelled, IT'S COMING FOR YOU NOW! He was crying and very scared. I said, OH, BE BRAVE, COME OUT OF THERE, THIS IS ALL SO EXCITING!!! (He remained until Big Mama arrived home sometime later when it was over and had died down).
Big Mama asked me what I had been doing? I told her and she laughed and said, OH LORD HAVE MERCY! And then she laughed.
I remember when I was told to be "in charge" of things when she would go to her special night card playing events at her girlfriends houses. She also would tell me to go to the big market downtown with my wagon and my dog to shop for various things with a list she would give me. I was always the one to be told to make the long trip. (Thinking back, it was exciting. All the way there and back, going through different neighborhoods, I would pretend each one was a different "foreign" country.) When she became ill for a period of time. She was in bed for quite some time and her bedroom opened into the kitchen. She would from her bed instruct me how to prepare meals. (SHE WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST COOKS I HAVE EVER KNOWN!) She would point and tell me how to do all sorts of cooking, because she had always made sure that we all had very elaborate and full meals and desserts. I always ran behind her when she went to get the eggs the chickens had laid to bring inside. I stood close, next to her when she would kill a chicken to use for meals sometimes. It was both scary and exciting to see how it was done.
I remember when her boyfriend, who was a Trucker, came with his son, who went to the same school as my brother and I, to take us on an exciting ride in the big truck. BUT, I quickly discovered that I was not going to be able to go, because there was no room for me. Only the 3 or them could go for the ride. I was told to stay behind. I was broken hearted. (Again, my brother was "favored" by them also). I walked slowly up to the front porch where Big Mama was standing watching. Tears were beginning to swell up in my eyes. I heard my Grandmother say very quickly to me, DO NOT CRY. BE BRAVE. BE INDEPENDENT. BE STRONG, DON'T CRY! (My tears stopped quickly). I ran inside the house and pulled out my Comic Books and began to read them all. I never thought about it again.
I remember very well the huge, deserted horse
stable next to where we lived. It was made of hundreds of bricks. It was about 4 stories high. It was old and decrepit and falling apart somewhat. For fun, we kids would play inside of it and sometimes throw bricks at the walls and make holes. It was fun!
Big Mama had often warned us about playing Cowboy and Indians in the stable. She repeatedly told us that it was dangerous. But, just like children we would sneak in there and play all the time.
One afternoon, coming home from school, the stable had disappeared? It was gone??? Soon, I discovered, the entire stable collapsed, hundreds of bricks, to the ground while we were at school.
When I questioned Big Mama, she said, I WARNED YOU. I HOPE THIS IS A LESSON FOR YOU.
I always loved to sit on the porch with Steve, the guy that lived next door to us with his Father. Most of the kids would not play much with him...but me, I loved joking and talking to him for hours. Soon his Father would tell him he had to come inside. I was always disappointed when he left. Shortly, I would hear the music being played on the violin by his Father drifting outside the window. Steve was the "biggest boy" in the world to me. Sometimes he looked like a man? But he definitely sounded like a boy. I remember asking Big Mama the question, why did Steve have to go inside so early all the time. She would say, BECAUSE HE HAS TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS FATHER NOW.
Many, many years later as an adult I once mentioned Steve to my brother. I said to my brother, I REMEMBER STEVE ALWAYS HAD TO STAY ON THE PORCH AND NEVER PLAYED WITH ANY OF US? My brother looked at me with surprise and said, STEVE WAS RETARDED. DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT??? (Nope, I never really realized....and for the first time in all my life, it all made sense, after all of those years gone by!)
During this time as a small boy, I experienced numerous OBES and I was terrified. I became a very nervous child. Even more so than I had already been deep inside. When I told my brother I was scared of the horrible nightmares, he would laugh and tell me I was a Sissy. When I told Big Mama, she told me to be BRAVE. Be good and be strong, nothing will get you.
I never mentioned them to anyone after she told me that..... I kept them all to myself. My secret. I did not understand any of them at that time. I did know one thing. THESE WERE UNLIKE ANY DREAMS I HAD EVER HAD AND THEY WERE RECURRING!
I remember every Spring I would become excited about planting the hundreds of seeds I got through the mail, in order to create a garden. It was just so amazing planting seeds and throughout the Summer various vegetables could be gathered by Big Mama to prepare our meals. The variety of flowers I planted were also quite extraordinary! I remember her saying to me, YOU CANNOT EXPECT YOUR GARDEN TO GROW WITH ONLY THAT SOIL. I was confused? I told her that they would grow no matter what kind of soil was in the earth. She did not contest me. I simply came home from school one day and a huge truck was pulling away from the yard after having dumped a tremendous amount of the richest and blackest soil I had ever seen! Big Mama opened the screen door and yelled, YOU CAN START PLANTING NOW!
She of course was right. The vegetables and flowers were amazing always. My brother had a terrible temper. Whenever he and I got into an argument, he would immediately run to my garden and stomp down all of the seedlings and break my heart.
BUT, for some reason they all seemed to survive and yield beautiful plants. I knew Big Mama was watching his hateful ways at a distance from inside the house and she was quiet. Now I know why she was quiet and watching without interference. She silently watched as I would "bravely" go through all of the garden and caress and gently speak and attempt to nourish my garden"s wounds created by my brother. (She was watching me become strong as a survivor rather than a VICTIM.
One morning by surprise, I saw an incredible sight hidden in my garden. A Watermelon!!! Wow! This was amazing. I had not planted a Watermelon, but due to the amounts that were eaten, probably some seeds accidentally got thrown there one day. It was almost the size of a basketball and I was excited. My Grandmother came walking over to me and said, WE WILL HAVE TO REMOVE THAT. WE MUST CUT THAT WATERMELON OUT OF THE GARDEN IMMEDIATELY. I yelled loud and clear, NO! She repeated herself to me and then looked me in the eye and said, IF YOU DO NOT TAKE THAT WATERMELON OUT OF YOUR GARDEN, ITS' VINES AND ROOTS WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING IN YOUR GARDEN. I continued to protest. NO, IT'S TOO BEAUTIFUL. She silently walked away.
The next day when I came home from school the watermelon was gone? I ran to Big Mama and yelled, my watermelon is gone? What happened to it??? She kept a straight face and softly said, I DON'T KNOW? MAYBE SOMEONE STOLE IT? I released the thought from my mind and ran outside to take care of my garden.
Today, I know very well she had it removed, because, SHE LOVED ME.
Big Mama continued to treat my brother like a Prince throughout her life on this earth. I remained "second". BUT.....instead of becoming a VICTIM, I continued on with my journey and I never had any ill feelings towards my Grandmother. I do know that I could have come to hate her because I felt always left out or "second" in her eyes. But, there was for some reason, nothing that made me feel this way towards her at the time. But, I always wondered why she treated me this way? Until I "opened my higher awareness" during my adult life. Now I "see" what lessons we learn in ways we have no idea are happening to us. Good lessons! So many of us become VICTIMS whenever we feel that someone is not "the way we want them to be or expect them to be" and we might not realize that it is not an advantageous method of thinking. In order to find out the good part of everything that happens to us during our journey here, we must always, STOP....LOOK....AND LISTEN!
Big Mama was NEVER a VICTIM! She was a strong and independent woman even until the day she crossed-over. At first I did not realize how much I was being taught.
I see people around me now, all the time, whining and crying over being abused by those around them.....when in reality, the one that is abusing them the most is, THEMSELVES! So many permit their entire lives to fall apart due to them putting the blame on others. The drama and devastation of broken relationships and marriages being the end of some one's life is absurd. Saying we cannot live without another human being is sad. We did not come here to live our journeys based on the permissions of others around us. We all have missions. We are very powerful entities. It seems that anything positive can be done as a team, when desired. BUT, we cannot bring ourselves to believe that we cannot move forward without the "dependency" of another being. We are all individual spirits with individual goals. Believing that another is necessary for the advancement of our souls becomes a foolish illusion.
This is also a part of "loving ourselves". Look around you and you will see, if you quiet your mind and be still, how miserable others are that have so much self-hatred and dependency on others. Some believe that they cannot survive without the other?
This is false thinking on the part of the weaker person. They do not love themselves and with this comes "hate, anger, and jealousy!" It is not healthy and clear thinking on the part of the weakling. He or She will destroy not only themselves, but possibly the journey of the other person involved.
It is NOT selfish thinking to believe that MYSELF comes first, my journey is first priority. Everything else in one's life is secondary. We are here to learn as much as possible in the short time given us. We should not really waste time making "pit -stops" to deal with another soul's journey while we are moving forward. This will definitely hold us back from rapid advancement. So many divorces and broken relationships are due to conflicts of interest! I believe that it is possible to maintain a partnership, BUT, neither of the individuals should be in conflict with the other's path of travel.
Our lessons and journeys are definitely not the same. Sometimes similar, but never the same. Sometimes we never find out how detrimental conflicts of interests can hold us back until it's too late. Stop and Go Traffic is never good on a car. In addition to causing wear and tear on the car, you usually never get to your destination on time.
In the end, so many of us consider ourselves the VICTIMS due to the fact that we refuse to release these things in our life. We blame it all on the other soul. We say its their fault for "causing" my downfall. We cry and crawl around and repeatedly say, THEY did this to me! I AM A VICTIM! We are not, get over it! I guess some of us should have come to the realization by now, LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE EASY........... IF YOU INSIST ON MAKING IT DIFFICULT! AHAHAahahahahah!
More later......
Love and Light!
Marshall
I always remember Big Mama (maybe it was a Southern thing?) beautifully dressed and holding a cigarette and a cocktail when relaxing. I was always trying to cater to her because, I always knew I was "second" to my brother and wanted her to pay equal attention and show me favors also. BUT, it did not really happen and besides, I never became or saw myself as a VICTIM due to this situation.
As I said earlier, I created my own special world. And this is why I probably did not realize at the time, but Big Mama was giving me a great gift in my life!
There was a big tornado in our town once and Big Mama was shopping a great distance from home. My brother and I were alone. Big Mama called on the phone from a department store to ask what was happening at home? Where was my brother? I simply and calmly said, ALL IS WELL HERE. HE IS HIDING UNDER THE YOUR BED, HE IS TERRIFIED! She told us to stay inside and be calm until she got home. I said goodbye and ran outside into the street singing and laughing happily. The streets were empty except for huge winds blowing through the area. I could literally see the huge cone shaped tornado in the distance and it made me even more excited and happy. I jumped up and down and danced and sang and soon ran back into the house to tease my brother. I peeped under the bed and yelled, IT'S COMING FOR YOU NOW! He was crying and very scared. I said, OH, BE BRAVE, COME OUT OF THERE, THIS IS ALL SO EXCITING!!! (He remained until Big Mama arrived home sometime later when it was over and had died down).
Big Mama asked me what I had been doing? I told her and she laughed and said, OH LORD HAVE MERCY! And then she laughed.
I remember when I was told to be "in charge" of things when she would go to her special night card playing events at her girlfriends houses. She also would tell me to go to the big market downtown with my wagon and my dog to shop for various things with a list she would give me. I was always the one to be told to make the long trip. (Thinking back, it was exciting. All the way there and back, going through different neighborhoods, I would pretend each one was a different "foreign" country.) When she became ill for a period of time. She was in bed for quite some time and her bedroom opened into the kitchen. She would from her bed instruct me how to prepare meals. (SHE WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST COOKS I HAVE EVER KNOWN!) She would point and tell me how to do all sorts of cooking, because she had always made sure that we all had very elaborate and full meals and desserts. I always ran behind her when she went to get the eggs the chickens had laid to bring inside. I stood close, next to her when she would kill a chicken to use for meals sometimes. It was both scary and exciting to see how it was done.
I remember when her boyfriend, who was a Trucker, came with his son, who went to the same school as my brother and I, to take us on an exciting ride in the big truck. BUT, I quickly discovered that I was not going to be able to go, because there was no room for me. Only the 3 or them could go for the ride. I was told to stay behind. I was broken hearted. (Again, my brother was "favored" by them also). I walked slowly up to the front porch where Big Mama was standing watching. Tears were beginning to swell up in my eyes. I heard my Grandmother say very quickly to me, DO NOT CRY. BE BRAVE. BE INDEPENDENT. BE STRONG, DON'T CRY! (My tears stopped quickly). I ran inside the house and pulled out my Comic Books and began to read them all. I never thought about it again.
I remember very well the huge, deserted horse
stable next to where we lived. It was made of hundreds of bricks. It was about 4 stories high. It was old and decrepit and falling apart somewhat. For fun, we kids would play inside of it and sometimes throw bricks at the walls and make holes. It was fun!
Big Mama had often warned us about playing Cowboy and Indians in the stable. She repeatedly told us that it was dangerous. But, just like children we would sneak in there and play all the time.
One afternoon, coming home from school, the stable had disappeared? It was gone??? Soon, I discovered, the entire stable collapsed, hundreds of bricks, to the ground while we were at school.
When I questioned Big Mama, she said, I WARNED YOU. I HOPE THIS IS A LESSON FOR YOU.
I always loved to sit on the porch with Steve, the guy that lived next door to us with his Father. Most of the kids would not play much with him...but me, I loved joking and talking to him for hours. Soon his Father would tell him he had to come inside. I was always disappointed when he left. Shortly, I would hear the music being played on the violin by his Father drifting outside the window. Steve was the "biggest boy" in the world to me. Sometimes he looked like a man? But he definitely sounded like a boy. I remember asking Big Mama the question, why did Steve have to go inside so early all the time. She would say, BECAUSE HE HAS TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS FATHER NOW.
Many, many years later as an adult I once mentioned Steve to my brother. I said to my brother, I REMEMBER STEVE ALWAYS HAD TO STAY ON THE PORCH AND NEVER PLAYED WITH ANY OF US? My brother looked at me with surprise and said, STEVE WAS RETARDED. DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT??? (Nope, I never really realized....and for the first time in all my life, it all made sense, after all of those years gone by!)
During this time as a small boy, I experienced numerous OBES and I was terrified. I became a very nervous child. Even more so than I had already been deep inside. When I told my brother I was scared of the horrible nightmares, he would laugh and tell me I was a Sissy. When I told Big Mama, she told me to be BRAVE. Be good and be strong, nothing will get you.
I never mentioned them to anyone after she told me that..... I kept them all to myself. My secret. I did not understand any of them at that time. I did know one thing. THESE WERE UNLIKE ANY DREAMS I HAD EVER HAD AND THEY WERE RECURRING!
I remember every Spring I would become excited about planting the hundreds of seeds I got through the mail, in order to create a garden. It was just so amazing planting seeds and throughout the Summer various vegetables could be gathered by Big Mama to prepare our meals. The variety of flowers I planted were also quite extraordinary! I remember her saying to me, YOU CANNOT EXPECT YOUR GARDEN TO GROW WITH ONLY THAT SOIL. I was confused? I told her that they would grow no matter what kind of soil was in the earth. She did not contest me. I simply came home from school one day and a huge truck was pulling away from the yard after having dumped a tremendous amount of the richest and blackest soil I had ever seen! Big Mama opened the screen door and yelled, YOU CAN START PLANTING NOW!
She of course was right. The vegetables and flowers were amazing always. My brother had a terrible temper. Whenever he and I got into an argument, he would immediately run to my garden and stomp down all of the seedlings and break my heart.
BUT, for some reason they all seemed to survive and yield beautiful plants. I knew Big Mama was watching his hateful ways at a distance from inside the house and she was quiet. Now I know why she was quiet and watching without interference. She silently watched as I would "bravely" go through all of the garden and caress and gently speak and attempt to nourish my garden"s wounds created by my brother. (She was watching me become strong as a survivor rather than a VICTIM.
One morning by surprise, I saw an incredible sight hidden in my garden. A Watermelon!!! Wow! This was amazing. I had not planted a Watermelon, but due to the amounts that were eaten, probably some seeds accidentally got thrown there one day. It was almost the size of a basketball and I was excited. My Grandmother came walking over to me and said, WE WILL HAVE TO REMOVE THAT. WE MUST CUT THAT WATERMELON OUT OF THE GARDEN IMMEDIATELY. I yelled loud and clear, NO! She repeated herself to me and then looked me in the eye and said, IF YOU DO NOT TAKE THAT WATERMELON OUT OF YOUR GARDEN, ITS' VINES AND ROOTS WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING IN YOUR GARDEN. I continued to protest. NO, IT'S TOO BEAUTIFUL. She silently walked away.
The next day when I came home from school the watermelon was gone? I ran to Big Mama and yelled, my watermelon is gone? What happened to it??? She kept a straight face and softly said, I DON'T KNOW? MAYBE SOMEONE STOLE IT? I released the thought from my mind and ran outside to take care of my garden.
Today, I know very well she had it removed, because, SHE LOVED ME.
Big Mama continued to treat my brother like a Prince throughout her life on this earth. I remained "second". BUT.....instead of becoming a VICTIM, I continued on with my journey and I never had any ill feelings towards my Grandmother. I do know that I could have come to hate her because I felt always left out or "second" in her eyes. But, there was for some reason, nothing that made me feel this way towards her at the time. But, I always wondered why she treated me this way? Until I "opened my higher awareness" during my adult life. Now I "see" what lessons we learn in ways we have no idea are happening to us. Good lessons! So many of us become VICTIMS whenever we feel that someone is not "the way we want them to be or expect them to be" and we might not realize that it is not an advantageous method of thinking. In order to find out the good part of everything that happens to us during our journey here, we must always, STOP....LOOK....AND LISTEN!
Big Mama was NEVER a VICTIM! She was a strong and independent woman even until the day she crossed-over. At first I did not realize how much I was being taught.
I see people around me now, all the time, whining and crying over being abused by those around them.....when in reality, the one that is abusing them the most is, THEMSELVES! So many permit their entire lives to fall apart due to them putting the blame on others. The drama and devastation of broken relationships and marriages being the end of some one's life is absurd. Saying we cannot live without another human being is sad. We did not come here to live our journeys based on the permissions of others around us. We all have missions. We are very powerful entities. It seems that anything positive can be done as a team, when desired. BUT, we cannot bring ourselves to believe that we cannot move forward without the "dependency" of another being. We are all individual spirits with individual goals. Believing that another is necessary for the advancement of our souls becomes a foolish illusion.
This is also a part of "loving ourselves". Look around you and you will see, if you quiet your mind and be still, how miserable others are that have so much self-hatred and dependency on others. Some believe that they cannot survive without the other?
This is false thinking on the part of the weaker person. They do not love themselves and with this comes "hate, anger, and jealousy!" It is not healthy and clear thinking on the part of the weakling. He or She will destroy not only themselves, but possibly the journey of the other person involved.
It is NOT selfish thinking to believe that MYSELF comes first, my journey is first priority. Everything else in one's life is secondary. We are here to learn as much as possible in the short time given us. We should not really waste time making "pit -stops" to deal with another soul's journey while we are moving forward. This will definitely hold us back from rapid advancement. So many divorces and broken relationships are due to conflicts of interest! I believe that it is possible to maintain a partnership, BUT, neither of the individuals should be in conflict with the other's path of travel.
Our lessons and journeys are definitely not the same. Sometimes similar, but never the same. Sometimes we never find out how detrimental conflicts of interests can hold us back until it's too late. Stop and Go Traffic is never good on a car. In addition to causing wear and tear on the car, you usually never get to your destination on time.
In the end, so many of us consider ourselves the VICTIMS due to the fact that we refuse to release these things in our life. We blame it all on the other soul. We say its their fault for "causing" my downfall. We cry and crawl around and repeatedly say, THEY did this to me! I AM A VICTIM! We are not, get over it! I guess some of us should have come to the realization by now, LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE EASY........... IF YOU INSIST ON MAKING IT DIFFICULT! AHAHAahahahahah!
More later......
Love and Light!
Marshall
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
THE VICTIMS!
One of the best lessons I have learned thus far during this incredible journey is, DO NOT SEE YOURSELF AS A "VICTIM" no matter what happens!
Why? Because just about everything in our life is suppose to be the way it is when and if it happens to us, good or not so good.
Recently, one of the illusions that happened to me in physical reality as a child slowly started to make sense to me. As a small boy I was always, as I have mentioned previously, living somewhat in a total fantasy world. This was in all probability one of the reasons I was able to go forward with my life after having had such devastating events happen to me without falling apart and permitting them to hold me back from going forward. (The sadness inside my spirit was put on "hold")
Being somewhat small for my age always as a kid, it was assumed by others that I was "weak", "fragile". Nope, not me. Maybe I over compensated for my size by being a really "bad little boy!" Aahahahhahah! I was totally NOT a "Macho Boy". BUT, my brother was always the macho one and put great efforts into being one. I was considered totally "crazy" by some, because all noticed that Little Marshall was never afraid of anybody or anything! (Maybe somewhat shy, but never afraid). I was only one year older than my brother, yet he considered me his OLDER BROTHER when he got into trouble with the guys. Like most kids, telling those that messed with you that you were going to go get your older brother was a scary thing. The funny thing about me was that I was not known for my intimidating appearance, but for BEING TOTALLY CRAZY when it came to fighting! I would fight anybody. I was what you called, A DIRTY FIGHTER! I had no problem using my fists, my nails, my feet, baseball bats, stones, etc. To me a fight was an event of surviving. There were no rules! I laugh to myself sometimes when I remember those times in our life. My brother was also to timid he had difficulty even speaking up for himself to intimidate the other guys with words! He would get me to speak to them..... (I was great with words, also the "biggest actor and liar" in the world!) The other boys would try to scare me by questioning as to why my brother did not speak for himself??? My favorite comeback was always, HE DOES NOT SPEAK ENGLISH! (AAAhahahahah, we both spoke, ONLY ENGLISH!)
But, I always felt "alone", in my own little world. My brother and I lived primarily most of the times with my Grandmother. (My Mother's Mother) My Grandmother was a very young Grandmother, she was barely 16 when my Mother was born. Most assumed, including myself, that my brother was her "favorite". All my life I considered myself, "second" in her life in comparison to my brother. Yet, I never played the VICTIM. It always seemed natural for me to just accept it and keep moving forward. Moving on and not letting things get in my way that might hold me back from achieving anything that I wanted in life.
My brother seemed to be handed the good things "first" by her, and given special treatment by her and I seemed to be always "second". Yes, being a little boy and watching these things happen to me could have made me sulk and always be sad and not move on. BUT, looking back, I never did..... I always found things that would compensate for those times that made me happy. Some were just imaginary thoughts.
I felt very much alone many times, but it seemed that I just stepped forward and found distractions to make me feel happy and joyous in spite of these incidents.
For some reasons during those times, I still loved my Grandmother and cherished the times we had together, yet I never at the time stopped to think "why?". I seemed to grow up just accepting the fact that I would always be "second" in my Grandmother's eyes. I never really realized what an amazing thing was happening to my development as a person during all of those years while spending time with my Grandmother on this earth. I only in my later adult years, after she had "crossed-over" found out what absolutely amazing things were being instilled in my life by her for all of those years of believing I was "second" in her eyes! I later discovered the most incredible lessons that I was being taught during my time with her, that giving my soul powerful and enormous LIGHT to make my journey a strong one on this planet called Earth!
I would like to share my thoughts with all in the hopes that by sharing that I have come to be awaken to about these situations that many might consider cruel and hurtful. You might want to go deep within your soul and meditate and find the similarities of these special events in my life as a growing spirit with my Grandmother. Maybe, just maybe, you too will stop and say to yourself, WOW.....I MUST STOP BEING A VICTIM! You too might consider the idea that you too have learned or can learn by "seeing" the things that happened to you as magnificent lessons, rather than hurtful moments. And you too will grow tremendously during your journey.
More later.......
Love and Light!
Marshall
Why? Because just about everything in our life is suppose to be the way it is when and if it happens to us, good or not so good.
Recently, one of the illusions that happened to me in physical reality as a child slowly started to make sense to me. As a small boy I was always, as I have mentioned previously, living somewhat in a total fantasy world. This was in all probability one of the reasons I was able to go forward with my life after having had such devastating events happen to me without falling apart and permitting them to hold me back from going forward. (The sadness inside my spirit was put on "hold")
Being somewhat small for my age always as a kid, it was assumed by others that I was "weak", "fragile". Nope, not me. Maybe I over compensated for my size by being a really "bad little boy!" Aahahahhahah! I was totally NOT a "Macho Boy". BUT, my brother was always the macho one and put great efforts into being one. I was considered totally "crazy" by some, because all noticed that Little Marshall was never afraid of anybody or anything! (Maybe somewhat shy, but never afraid). I was only one year older than my brother, yet he considered me his OLDER BROTHER when he got into trouble with the guys. Like most kids, telling those that messed with you that you were going to go get your older brother was a scary thing. The funny thing about me was that I was not known for my intimidating appearance, but for BEING TOTALLY CRAZY when it came to fighting! I would fight anybody. I was what you called, A DIRTY FIGHTER! I had no problem using my fists, my nails, my feet, baseball bats, stones, etc. To me a fight was an event of surviving. There were no rules! I laugh to myself sometimes when I remember those times in our life. My brother was also to timid he had difficulty even speaking up for himself to intimidate the other guys with words! He would get me to speak to them..... (I was great with words, also the "biggest actor and liar" in the world!) The other boys would try to scare me by questioning as to why my brother did not speak for himself??? My favorite comeback was always, HE DOES NOT SPEAK ENGLISH! (AAAhahahahah, we both spoke, ONLY ENGLISH!)
But, I always felt "alone", in my own little world. My brother and I lived primarily most of the times with my Grandmother. (My Mother's Mother) My Grandmother was a very young Grandmother, she was barely 16 when my Mother was born. Most assumed, including myself, that my brother was her "favorite". All my life I considered myself, "second" in her life in comparison to my brother. Yet, I never played the VICTIM. It always seemed natural for me to just accept it and keep moving forward. Moving on and not letting things get in my way that might hold me back from achieving anything that I wanted in life.
My brother seemed to be handed the good things "first" by her, and given special treatment by her and I seemed to be always "second". Yes, being a little boy and watching these things happen to me could have made me sulk and always be sad and not move on. BUT, looking back, I never did..... I always found things that would compensate for those times that made me happy. Some were just imaginary thoughts.
I felt very much alone many times, but it seemed that I just stepped forward and found distractions to make me feel happy and joyous in spite of these incidents.
For some reasons during those times, I still loved my Grandmother and cherished the times we had together, yet I never at the time stopped to think "why?". I seemed to grow up just accepting the fact that I would always be "second" in my Grandmother's eyes. I never really realized what an amazing thing was happening to my development as a person during all of those years while spending time with my Grandmother on this earth. I only in my later adult years, after she had "crossed-over" found out what absolutely amazing things were being instilled in my life by her for all of those years of believing I was "second" in her eyes! I later discovered the most incredible lessons that I was being taught during my time with her, that giving my soul powerful and enormous LIGHT to make my journey a strong one on this planet called Earth!
I would like to share my thoughts with all in the hopes that by sharing that I have come to be awaken to about these situations that many might consider cruel and hurtful. You might want to go deep within your soul and meditate and find the similarities of these special events in my life as a growing spirit with my Grandmother. Maybe, just maybe, you too will stop and say to yourself, WOW.....I MUST STOP BEING A VICTIM! You too might consider the idea that you too have learned or can learn by "seeing" the things that happened to you as magnificent lessons, rather than hurtful moments. And you too will grow tremendously during your journey.
More later.......
Love and Light!
Marshall
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME?
People ask me all the time, due to my psychical abilities and Out of Body Experiences, DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? My answer has been and always will be, YES! I would also like to pass on to all those wishing to share these blogs, that one of the reasons that I believe there is a much higher entity than any we can imagine, due to my research on OBES and Near Death Experiences. Remember I told you that so many have been asked during these awesome experiences the question, by a very incredible and extroidinary
Being of Light, the question, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME?
We all have a part of us that is above our physical views of thinking or understanding, that know very well what the true contents of this question signifies. Remember the old saying, YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE? Well, we know very well that when this question is asked of us, it will be asking us to show to a Creator, who gave us the freedom to visit this planet/school what we have done to accomplish something very important. Something we always knew deep inside our souls. What we have done to "give" and "promote" more LIGHT AND LOVE to this amazing Universe! To our fellow Brothers and Sisters.
I would like to share with you my feelings lately about how I intuit the answers some will have to present, if they are giving honest answers.
I WENT TO SO MANY PARTIES......WOW! IT WAS FABULOUS! I BOMBED AND KILLED HUNDREDS OF INNOCENT MEN,WOMEN AND CHILDREN, I GAVE BIRTH TO SO MANY BABIES IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT I KNEW I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CARE FOR THEM, (By the way, it is not that difficult to have a baby. And when it arrives it will have an agenda that most have no idea of.... We do not OWN our children, we simple provide a source of entry. They "choose" us, we do not choose them and so many of us continue to view our babies as a "reflection" of ourselves, when they turn out good of course!) The sadess thing I have been witnessing recently, are what I would consider "children" walking around with babies all for the "wrong" reasons. I LOVED HAVING SEX 24/7 IT WAS AMAZING! I WENT TO WAR TO KILL SO MANY, I DESTROYED SO MANY DREAMS PEOPLE HAD OF A BEAUTIFUL LIFE, I DESTROYED HOSPITALS, SCHOOLS, IT WAS SO COOL. I BEAT AND MURDERED HUMANS THAT DID NOT BELIEVE WHAT I BELIEVED, I MURDERED AND TORTURED THOSE THAT HAD DIFFERENT SEXUAL PREFERENCES THAN MYSELF AND MY FAMILY. I DID NOT ATTEMPT ANY CAREER GOALS, too boring, I was too busy just singing, dancing and partying and having fun and attempting to find the perfect girlfriend or boyfriend. My biggest thrill was to walk around the streets or school and show off my new girlfriend. I could go on and on and on! BUT, how about this:
I SMILED AT THIS POOR OLD LADY WHO LOOKED SAD.
I PAINTED PICTURES AND USED BEAUTIFUL COLORS HOPING PEOPLE WOULD BE HAPPY.
PEOPLE SAID, I WAS A WONDERFUL SINGER, SO I SANG FOR THE WORLD.
I BECAME A TEACHER AND TAUGHT TO HELP OTHERS LEARN.
I STUDIED VERY HARD TO LEARN TO DANCE AND ACT, IN ORDER TO PERFORM AND MAKE THE WORLD HAPPY.
I LEARNED ALL ABOUT SEWING AND DESIGN TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY TO WEAR BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES
I WROTE BOOKS.
I HELPED COOK FOR PEOPLE WHO COULD NOT AFFORD FOOD.
I STUDIED TO BECOME A DOCTOR TO TRY AND MAKE SICK PEOPLE WELL AND HAPPY.
SOME OF MY TIME WAS SPENT TRYING TO MAKE SICK CHILDREN HAPPY.
I TRIED TO CREATE THINGS THAT GAVE HOPE AND PEACE TO DEPRESSED INDIVIDUALS WHO NEEDED TO FIND THEIR WAY.
I COLLECTED GARBAGE DAILY TO HELP THE CITY BE CLEAN.
I SCRUBBED FLOORS FOR BUILDINGS.
I CLEANED OTHER PEOPLES HOUSES TO MAKE A LIVING, AND THEY WERE HAPPY.
I GAVE BLOOD.
I BECAME A POLICE OFFICER TO HELP PROTECT INNOCENT SOULS.
I BECAME A FIREMAN AND ATTEMPTED TO SAVE HUMAN BEINGS FROM PERISHING DURING 9/11.
I TRIED TO SAY THINGS FULL OF "LIGHT" TO PEOPLE DURING TROUBLED TIMES.
I TRIED TO LOVE "EVERYBODY" EVEN WHEN I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THEM.
I TRIED TO LEAVE SOMETHING "GOOD" TO BE REMEMBERED BY ON THE PLANET, EVEN IT WAS ONLY REMEMBERED BY ONE OR TWO HUMAN SOULS.
I DONATED MY EYES TO THOSE WHO NEEDED THEM ON MY DEPARTURE.
I GAVE MY HEART WHEN I DEPARTED FROM THE EARTH.
I TRIED TO GIVE "HOPE" TO THOSE I CAME IN CONTACT WITH THAT HAD NONE.
Of course I could go on and on. But what I am trying to share is that we need to be prepared to answer that question. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME? Nope, this entity will not judge you or me. Our eyes and spirits will open wide and we will judge ourselves! Why do I say this? Because during the Out of Body Experiences, I have "seen" how our real/true self, higher self, views our existence. During this time, we view ourselves much differently, if we have not already developed these abilities while in the physical day to day routines.
As I have presented previously, there is so much more to us than we can imagine while wearing a veil or walking around this planet wearing blinders. I believe that this will happen when we realize that those words, LOVE ONE ANOTHER were more important than imaginable. We all must share our Light with all those around us and we must help each other to reach our destinations with much clarity of why we all came here in the first place.
When we really start to dissect our daily life, we must realize that all of the new advancements we have made technologically were not always for making it easier for us to Text Message each other with who has a new girlfriend or boyfriend. Or who had another child to join us now on this most disturbing planet. Or who is giving the next party or who is more fantastic than the other, when in reality, at this time are only "showing" how they are able to use their fingers to send messages about how shallow their life really is contributing absolutely nothing of worth to mankind.
Someone said this morning on the radio, THESE ARE GREAT INVENTIONS, BUT THEY SEEM TO BE MISUSED BY SO MANY! We must remember, the person who created these items, made a tremendous contribution to us all. But the excessive misuse of them does more harm than good. Giving so much time to playing these games and sending so many mundane messages, have caused many to be involved in senseless accidents and destroying the lives of beautiful souls. So many of us are not accomplishing much of anything during our journeys here, due to the fact that we are neglecting attempting to produce or make use of our talents. It is true that some come here and know very well (they "feel" it, they "know" it) and then there are those who come here and must "find" their gifts they brought with them on the trip. OR, is it possible that so many of us got "side-tracked???" Becoming self-serving individuals who only focus on vapid goals, such as becoming jealous and evil when one permits ones self to feel inferior due to actions of one's own self of believing that it should be "easy" to attract lots of attention by physical and materialistic actions of living with the belief that we become superior to our friends and associates by emulating false impressions of talent, such as those of entertainment artists or focusing in on unjustified beliefs that physical features are superior to those of what is inside a person's soul/spirit.
The downside to the advancement in technologies is that it has enabled so many, especially our youth to become caught up in sending out hundreds of photos of themselves to display to the world how "physically good looking and fantastic they are physically and about how many superfluous situations they have participated in", without one mention of WHAT I TRIED TO DO TO MAKE MY JOURNEY ON THIS PLANET A FULFILLING AND HUMANITARIAN ONE!
I do know one thing and that is this" When each and every one of us has to go forward and answer the question I speak of..... We will have to answer it ALONE. We will not have those that we grouped ourselves with at this time. We will stand naked at the start of a new beginning and be asked that most awesome question.
Some say, and I believe this would be comforting, that there might be "another entity" standing at our sides during this most difficult time. An entity that once said, I DIED FOR YOU ONCE LONG AGO. I AM HERE. I LOVE YOU. I am a "Dreamer" in my heart and I would just like to also close this blog with a thought I have: I would like to believe when this question is asked of TYLER CLEMENTI, his reply will contains some of these thoughts: " I WAS NOT A SUPER STAR OR CELEBRITY. I WAS A HUMAN YOU CREATED AND GAVE THE BEAUTIFUL "GIFT" OF LIFE! THE PAIN AND SUFFERING SOMEONE HAD DECIDED TO PUT UPON MY SPIRIT WAS SO DEVASTATING AND I FELT COMPELLED TO, IN MY HUMAN THINKING, TO DEMONSTRATE AN ACT SO HORRIBLE THAT HAS AND COULD HAPPEN TO OTHER HUMAN SOULS, TO SHOW THE WORLD MY EXPRESSION OF LOVE TOWARD MANKIND?"
This is just a thought or a dream, but maybe when making up so many special occasions to party, we could take time and create a day called, GIVE TO THE WORLD DAY! or something similar.........Because we need to be prepared for that question:
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME?
More later........
Love and Light!
Marshall
Being of Light, the question, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME?
We all have a part of us that is above our physical views of thinking or understanding, that know very well what the true contents of this question signifies. Remember the old saying, YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE? Well, we know very well that when this question is asked of us, it will be asking us to show to a Creator, who gave us the freedom to visit this planet/school what we have done to accomplish something very important. Something we always knew deep inside our souls. What we have done to "give" and "promote" more LIGHT AND LOVE to this amazing Universe! To our fellow Brothers and Sisters.
I would like to share with you my feelings lately about how I intuit the answers some will have to present, if they are giving honest answers.
I WENT TO SO MANY PARTIES......WOW! IT WAS FABULOUS! I BOMBED AND KILLED HUNDREDS OF INNOCENT MEN,WOMEN AND CHILDREN, I GAVE BIRTH TO SO MANY BABIES IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT I KNEW I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CARE FOR THEM, (By the way, it is not that difficult to have a baby. And when it arrives it will have an agenda that most have no idea of.... We do not OWN our children, we simple provide a source of entry. They "choose" us, we do not choose them and so many of us continue to view our babies as a "reflection" of ourselves, when they turn out good of course!) The sadess thing I have been witnessing recently, are what I would consider "children" walking around with babies all for the "wrong" reasons. I LOVED HAVING SEX 24/7 IT WAS AMAZING! I WENT TO WAR TO KILL SO MANY, I DESTROYED SO MANY DREAMS PEOPLE HAD OF A BEAUTIFUL LIFE, I DESTROYED HOSPITALS, SCHOOLS, IT WAS SO COOL. I BEAT AND MURDERED HUMANS THAT DID NOT BELIEVE WHAT I BELIEVED, I MURDERED AND TORTURED THOSE THAT HAD DIFFERENT SEXUAL PREFERENCES THAN MYSELF AND MY FAMILY. I DID NOT ATTEMPT ANY CAREER GOALS, too boring, I was too busy just singing, dancing and partying and having fun and attempting to find the perfect girlfriend or boyfriend. My biggest thrill was to walk around the streets or school and show off my new girlfriend. I could go on and on and on! BUT, how about this:
I SMILED AT THIS POOR OLD LADY WHO LOOKED SAD.
I PAINTED PICTURES AND USED BEAUTIFUL COLORS HOPING PEOPLE WOULD BE HAPPY.
PEOPLE SAID, I WAS A WONDERFUL SINGER, SO I SANG FOR THE WORLD.
I BECAME A TEACHER AND TAUGHT TO HELP OTHERS LEARN.
I STUDIED VERY HARD TO LEARN TO DANCE AND ACT, IN ORDER TO PERFORM AND MAKE THE WORLD HAPPY.
I LEARNED ALL ABOUT SEWING AND DESIGN TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY TO WEAR BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES
I WROTE BOOKS.
I HELPED COOK FOR PEOPLE WHO COULD NOT AFFORD FOOD.
I STUDIED TO BECOME A DOCTOR TO TRY AND MAKE SICK PEOPLE WELL AND HAPPY.
SOME OF MY TIME WAS SPENT TRYING TO MAKE SICK CHILDREN HAPPY.
I TRIED TO CREATE THINGS THAT GAVE HOPE AND PEACE TO DEPRESSED INDIVIDUALS WHO NEEDED TO FIND THEIR WAY.
I COLLECTED GARBAGE DAILY TO HELP THE CITY BE CLEAN.
I SCRUBBED FLOORS FOR BUILDINGS.
I CLEANED OTHER PEOPLES HOUSES TO MAKE A LIVING, AND THEY WERE HAPPY.
I GAVE BLOOD.
I BECAME A POLICE OFFICER TO HELP PROTECT INNOCENT SOULS.
I BECAME A FIREMAN AND ATTEMPTED TO SAVE HUMAN BEINGS FROM PERISHING DURING 9/11.
I TRIED TO SAY THINGS FULL OF "LIGHT" TO PEOPLE DURING TROUBLED TIMES.
I TRIED TO LOVE "EVERYBODY" EVEN WHEN I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THEM.
I TRIED TO LEAVE SOMETHING "GOOD" TO BE REMEMBERED BY ON THE PLANET, EVEN IT WAS ONLY REMEMBERED BY ONE OR TWO HUMAN SOULS.
I DONATED MY EYES TO THOSE WHO NEEDED THEM ON MY DEPARTURE.
I GAVE MY HEART WHEN I DEPARTED FROM THE EARTH.
I TRIED TO GIVE "HOPE" TO THOSE I CAME IN CONTACT WITH THAT HAD NONE.
Of course I could go on and on. But what I am trying to share is that we need to be prepared to answer that question. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME? Nope, this entity will not judge you or me. Our eyes and spirits will open wide and we will judge ourselves! Why do I say this? Because during the Out of Body Experiences, I have "seen" how our real/true self, higher self, views our existence. During this time, we view ourselves much differently, if we have not already developed these abilities while in the physical day to day routines.
As I have presented previously, there is so much more to us than we can imagine while wearing a veil or walking around this planet wearing blinders. I believe that this will happen when we realize that those words, LOVE ONE ANOTHER were more important than imaginable. We all must share our Light with all those around us and we must help each other to reach our destinations with much clarity of why we all came here in the first place.
When we really start to dissect our daily life, we must realize that all of the new advancements we have made technologically were not always for making it easier for us to Text Message each other with who has a new girlfriend or boyfriend. Or who had another child to join us now on this most disturbing planet. Or who is giving the next party or who is more fantastic than the other, when in reality, at this time are only "showing" how they are able to use their fingers to send messages about how shallow their life really is contributing absolutely nothing of worth to mankind.
Someone said this morning on the radio, THESE ARE GREAT INVENTIONS, BUT THEY SEEM TO BE MISUSED BY SO MANY! We must remember, the person who created these items, made a tremendous contribution to us all. But the excessive misuse of them does more harm than good. Giving so much time to playing these games and sending so many mundane messages, have caused many to be involved in senseless accidents and destroying the lives of beautiful souls. So many of us are not accomplishing much of anything during our journeys here, due to the fact that we are neglecting attempting to produce or make use of our talents. It is true that some come here and know very well (they "feel" it, they "know" it) and then there are those who come here and must "find" their gifts they brought with them on the trip. OR, is it possible that so many of us got "side-tracked???" Becoming self-serving individuals who only focus on vapid goals, such as becoming jealous and evil when one permits ones self to feel inferior due to actions of one's own self of believing that it should be "easy" to attract lots of attention by physical and materialistic actions of living with the belief that we become superior to our friends and associates by emulating false impressions of talent, such as those of entertainment artists or focusing in on unjustified beliefs that physical features are superior to those of what is inside a person's soul/spirit.
The downside to the advancement in technologies is that it has enabled so many, especially our youth to become caught up in sending out hundreds of photos of themselves to display to the world how "physically good looking and fantastic they are physically and about how many superfluous situations they have participated in", without one mention of WHAT I TRIED TO DO TO MAKE MY JOURNEY ON THIS PLANET A FULFILLING AND HUMANITARIAN ONE!
I do know one thing and that is this" When each and every one of us has to go forward and answer the question I speak of..... We will have to answer it ALONE. We will not have those that we grouped ourselves with at this time. We will stand naked at the start of a new beginning and be asked that most awesome question.
Some say, and I believe this would be comforting, that there might be "another entity" standing at our sides during this most difficult time. An entity that once said, I DIED FOR YOU ONCE LONG AGO. I AM HERE. I LOVE YOU. I am a "Dreamer" in my heart and I would just like to also close this blog with a thought I have: I would like to believe when this question is asked of TYLER CLEMENTI, his reply will contains some of these thoughts: " I WAS NOT A SUPER STAR OR CELEBRITY. I WAS A HUMAN YOU CREATED AND GAVE THE BEAUTIFUL "GIFT" OF LIFE! THE PAIN AND SUFFERING SOMEONE HAD DECIDED TO PUT UPON MY SPIRIT WAS SO DEVASTATING AND I FELT COMPELLED TO, IN MY HUMAN THINKING, TO DEMONSTRATE AN ACT SO HORRIBLE THAT HAS AND COULD HAPPEN TO OTHER HUMAN SOULS, TO SHOW THE WORLD MY EXPRESSION OF LOVE TOWARD MANKIND?"
This is just a thought or a dream, but maybe when making up so many special occasions to party, we could take time and create a day called, GIVE TO THE WORLD DAY! or something similar.........Because we need to be prepared for that question:
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME?
More later........
Love and Light!
Marshall
Friday, October 1, 2010
THE BOY WHO JUMPED FROM THE GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE
Today with a very heavy heart I am going to write about an 18 year old student from Rutgers' University that took his young gift of life! I woke up this morning and the radio was announcing his demise. He lived so near to me in New Jersey and even though I did not know him personally, his smiling photo on the Internet this morning reached out to me with such "beautiful and smiling eyes of kindness and love" that I felt almost as if he was speaking to me?
TYLER CLEMENTI WAS A HERO! He came to this dimension to perform a task just as we all have come here to do. He was a very, very powerful and brave spirit. He came to show us all something very important about LOVING ONE ANOTHER. In the book that I have mentioned various times in my blog, THE HOLY BIBLE, The Christ said, LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
How many times have you or I or those you might know contemplated SUICIDE? Too many of us to mention. Why? Because we felt so much pain and grief that it seemed useless to go on with out assignments, that we chose, before coming here, to complete. Why did so many of us stop at the last minute, both out of fear and a deep feeling inside our souls that told us, NOPE, YOU CANNOT DO THAT. IF YOU DO THAT YOU WILL NOT HAVE COMPLETED THE CONTRIBUTION YOU CAME HERE TO THIS EARTH TO FULFILL. And.....we in spite of our pain, we continued our journey!
As Angie Fennimore reveals in her book, BEYOND THE DARKNESS describing her attempted suicide and how she survived it, after having been clinically dead for a short amount of time, the other (young people) she encountered (teenagers), the incredible and overwhelming appearance of a LIVING LIGHT that appeared to her with tremendous anger said to her, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? IF YOU THINK YOUR LIFE WAS BAD, NOW THIS WILL BE WORST!!! This entity was furious. (Next to her, she saw other teenagers that were very angry and she felt they did not care about their fate).
Please permit me to present to you another point of view of what might be those that have committed this act of terminating their life being that of not such a terrible act.
Using my psychical abilities when either "seeing" a person's face (eyes) either in person or in a photograph, I believe I have been able to read what message or inner thoughts this person is presenting from "within".
If we come to this earth to complete tasks during our journeys, we seem to exit and go back to a higher place when the time is correct.
Is it possible for you to go deep within your soul and find the true answers to why this young boy performed this sad act and departed from this world as we know it? Was his work completed at this point? Is it really necessary to be a Movie Star or a big recording artist or a President of a country or a financially wealthy individual and give out monetary gifts to the poor, etc. in order to be considered a HERO???
OR.......is it possible to be a young, talented, young 18 year old boy who chooses to arrived and show humanity how we have to learn to love one another? TYLER CLEMENTI showed us all, that something does not work here on this planet that will show love and peace of mind to all. DO NOT continue to believe that just because when we are young children, that we do not know what is GOOD and what is BAD/WRONG! Yes, those of us who are lowly evolved cannot understand. OR they cannot FEEL what most human beings can feel in their hearts and soul. These excuses about misguided youth, etc. to me is total garbage thinking! We ALL know when we do something what the ultimate outcome will be. We know in our soul what will hurt and what will feel good to the other human soul we are sending out these thoughts or acts towards. We also know when we are being JUDGEMENTAL! Dharum Ravi and Molly Wei knew without a doubt that they were out to hurt, harm, destroy, etc. another human soul. They invaded this person's privacy and wanted to "out" him and humiliate him to the world. THEY BOTH KNEW VERY WELL THAT WHAT THEY WERE DOING WAS WRONG! This is a part of our SPIRIT. It is inside of the physical vehicle of travel and age, race or religion should have NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!
My question for us to contemplate is this: DID TYLER CLEMENTI COME TO THIS EARTH TO PERFORM A "SACRED CONTRACT?" A PLAN THAT WAS AGREED TO BY HE AND OTHER SPIRITS BEFORE CHOOSING TO ARRIVE HERE?
Was the plan to demonstrated to lowly evolved beings how harmful they could be to their fellow Brothers and Sisters? Has he shown us his amazing highly evolved power by demonstrating to all of us how heartbreaking it can be to invade on another person's journey on this earth that is "different" than yours? Would you or I be brave enough to drive to The George Washington Bridge, park our car and walk to a rail and text a message, I AM JUMPING OFF THE GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE. SORRY.
He was not drugged out or high. He perform very specific acts and left us a message.
To me this is very similar to a Fire Fighter or a Police Officer or a Soldier, etc. These human beings have chosen to demonstrate to all of us a very important lesson. One that many of us cannot comprehend totally. BUT.....we do "feel" in our hearts and souls that these were CHOICES! These entities are remembered and honored because they knew very well before them arrived here, that they were going to perform amazing acts or bravery.
I am speaking now of only one of those HEROS. TYLER CLEMENTI. Please keep in mind.....this was a person that was not on drugs, not mentally unbalanced, etc. BUT, showed us what the consequences could be of two human beings performing an act of humiliation against another fellow human being that was cruel and despicable.
In closing, whether or not these two people are prosecuted heavily or not by society. They will have a tremendous penalty to pay. Due to their sexual discrimination, they will live for the rest of their life on this planet, knowing, that they inflicted pain and sorrow not only upon TYLER CLEMENTI, but upon his parents, his family, friends and ALL OF US! Was TYLER CLEMENTI A "VICTIM" OR A "HERO?"
More later.......
****DISCLAIMER: I PERSONALLY WOULD NEVER PROMOTE OR ADVISE THE ACT OF SUICIDE. THE ABOVE ARE MY THOUGHTS AND SEARCH FOR ANSWERS FROM THE UNIVERSE DURING MY MEDITATIONS AND PRAYERS IN RELATIONSHIP TO FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING WHO CHOSE TO CROSS OVER SO SOON IN HIS SHORT LIFE ON THIS PLANET.
Love and Light!
Marshall
TYLER CLEMENTI WAS A HERO! He came to this dimension to perform a task just as we all have come here to do. He was a very, very powerful and brave spirit. He came to show us all something very important about LOVING ONE ANOTHER. In the book that I have mentioned various times in my blog, THE HOLY BIBLE, The Christ said, LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
How many times have you or I or those you might know contemplated SUICIDE? Too many of us to mention. Why? Because we felt so much pain and grief that it seemed useless to go on with out assignments, that we chose, before coming here, to complete. Why did so many of us stop at the last minute, both out of fear and a deep feeling inside our souls that told us, NOPE, YOU CANNOT DO THAT. IF YOU DO THAT YOU WILL NOT HAVE COMPLETED THE CONTRIBUTION YOU CAME HERE TO THIS EARTH TO FULFILL. And.....we in spite of our pain, we continued our journey!
As Angie Fennimore reveals in her book, BEYOND THE DARKNESS describing her attempted suicide and how she survived it, after having been clinically dead for a short amount of time, the other (young people) she encountered (teenagers), the incredible and overwhelming appearance of a LIVING LIGHT that appeared to her with tremendous anger said to her, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? IF YOU THINK YOUR LIFE WAS BAD, NOW THIS WILL BE WORST!!! This entity was furious. (Next to her, she saw other teenagers that were very angry and she felt they did not care about their fate).
Please permit me to present to you another point of view of what might be those that have committed this act of terminating their life being that of not such a terrible act.
Using my psychical abilities when either "seeing" a person's face (eyes) either in person or in a photograph, I believe I have been able to read what message or inner thoughts this person is presenting from "within".
If we come to this earth to complete tasks during our journeys, we seem to exit and go back to a higher place when the time is correct.
Is it possible for you to go deep within your soul and find the true answers to why this young boy performed this sad act and departed from this world as we know it? Was his work completed at this point? Is it really necessary to be a Movie Star or a big recording artist or a President of a country or a financially wealthy individual and give out monetary gifts to the poor, etc. in order to be considered a HERO???
OR.......is it possible to be a young, talented, young 18 year old boy who chooses to arrived and show humanity how we have to learn to love one another? TYLER CLEMENTI showed us all, that something does not work here on this planet that will show love and peace of mind to all. DO NOT continue to believe that just because when we are young children, that we do not know what is GOOD and what is BAD/WRONG! Yes, those of us who are lowly evolved cannot understand. OR they cannot FEEL what most human beings can feel in their hearts and soul. These excuses about misguided youth, etc. to me is total garbage thinking! We ALL know when we do something what the ultimate outcome will be. We know in our soul what will hurt and what will feel good to the other human soul we are sending out these thoughts or acts towards. We also know when we are being JUDGEMENTAL! Dharum Ravi and Molly Wei knew without a doubt that they were out to hurt, harm, destroy, etc. another human soul. They invaded this person's privacy and wanted to "out" him and humiliate him to the world. THEY BOTH KNEW VERY WELL THAT WHAT THEY WERE DOING WAS WRONG! This is a part of our SPIRIT. It is inside of the physical vehicle of travel and age, race or religion should have NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!
My question for us to contemplate is this: DID TYLER CLEMENTI COME TO THIS EARTH TO PERFORM A "SACRED CONTRACT?" A PLAN THAT WAS AGREED TO BY HE AND OTHER SPIRITS BEFORE CHOOSING TO ARRIVE HERE?
Was the plan to demonstrated to lowly evolved beings how harmful they could be to their fellow Brothers and Sisters? Has he shown us his amazing highly evolved power by demonstrating to all of us how heartbreaking it can be to invade on another person's journey on this earth that is "different" than yours? Would you or I be brave enough to drive to The George Washington Bridge, park our car and walk to a rail and text a message, I AM JUMPING OFF THE GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE. SORRY.
He was not drugged out or high. He perform very specific acts and left us a message.
To me this is very similar to a Fire Fighter or a Police Officer or a Soldier, etc. These human beings have chosen to demonstrate to all of us a very important lesson. One that many of us cannot comprehend totally. BUT.....we do "feel" in our hearts and souls that these were CHOICES! These entities are remembered and honored because they knew very well before them arrived here, that they were going to perform amazing acts or bravery.
I am speaking now of only one of those HEROS. TYLER CLEMENTI. Please keep in mind.....this was a person that was not on drugs, not mentally unbalanced, etc. BUT, showed us what the consequences could be of two human beings performing an act of humiliation against another fellow human being that was cruel and despicable.
In closing, whether or not these two people are prosecuted heavily or not by society. They will have a tremendous penalty to pay. Due to their sexual discrimination, they will live for the rest of their life on this planet, knowing, that they inflicted pain and sorrow not only upon TYLER CLEMENTI, but upon his parents, his family, friends and ALL OF US! Was TYLER CLEMENTI A "VICTIM" OR A "HERO?"
More later.......
****DISCLAIMER: I PERSONALLY WOULD NEVER PROMOTE OR ADVISE THE ACT OF SUICIDE. THE ABOVE ARE MY THOUGHTS AND SEARCH FOR ANSWERS FROM THE UNIVERSE DURING MY MEDITATIONS AND PRAYERS IN RELATIONSHIP TO FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING WHO CHOSE TO CROSS OVER SO SOON IN HIS SHORT LIFE ON THIS PLANET.
Love and Light!
Marshall
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