SOME OF THE "RULES!"

"Primarily", I have come to learn or assume from what I have "seen" out of the body, that if we decided that we cannot go on with the mishaps and downfalls during our life here on this planet that the biggest mistake we could possibly make would be "to end it all" by our own hands! It seems we would have to come back and "repeat" the whole class! Yup, all the way up until the point of where we left off. Maybe there are exceptions to the rule, BUT, according to those words, MY WAYS ARE NOT YOUR WAYS AND MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS! The Universe works differently than the way we humans think and operate. God/The Universe does not make mistakes. It's as simple as that......
Many times I have had the feeling to end my life. In deep states of depression and feelings of, what on earth is the point of continuing with this life??? I suddenly wanted to end it all, believing maybe I could just stop having to deal with all of these troubles anymore. Always, this feeling of "warning" were delivered to me from within myself or from those close to me, I would reconsider and in a state of frustration, just literally fall asleep!
Recently, when I "saw" Mother on the other side, she was so lovely and always made me feel so good about myself. BUT, once during one of my deepest states of depression, I was seriously contemplating ending it all. I really got myself into the frame of mind where I just hated my existence and felt bitter and tremendously angry about being here and having to suffer so much crap! I just could not take it anymore and I was sure I just had to take whatever the consequences and "call this whole life off!" I was tired and physically exhausted that evening and shortly with the strain of so much thought fell off to sleep.
Mother appeared directly in front of me... primarily her face. Yikes!!! I had never seen such an expression of anger on her face as I did at that moment. It was devastating to me. I sat up full of fear. She looked at me with such fury! At that moment I think I decided to give life another shot? I could just read her thoughts without her mouth even moving. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU CRAZY? DON'T YOU DARE!!! (At this very moment that I are relaying this to you readers, I can still "see" the expression on her face, as clear as day!)
At this point I would like to recommend a book to you written by Angie Fenimore, BEYOND THE DARKNESS. This is the story written by her about her Near Death Experience when she attempted to commit suicide. If you or anybody you know has ever been overcome with this possibility, please check out this book. This very young woman's life was really horrible and she had great feelings of painful and anger that made her wish to move "into the Light!" She writes graphically about her experience and I am led to believe that it would help to make it quite difficult for anyone harboring these intentions to follow through...... Of course just as we cannot see the unknown, we cannot actually always see into the thoughts of a troubled soul who finds so much difficulties continuing on with life as we know it.
I have sometimes wondered if maybe we could actually get some idea of "why we are here on this earth?" we might be able to deal with it more easily. Right now the new age is opening up more than ever for us to begin to "see" so many things we have often questioned about life. Some of us might have been given the gift or occupation to assist others in helping this to be achieved. No longer must we continue with blinders on believing that our existence does not need to be understood. To drown ourselves with our day to day living and not stop from time to time and attempt to get some of the answers as to WHERE DID WE COME FROM? WHY ARE WE HERE? and WHERE ARE WE GOING? Many are so fearful of the answer to these questions that we bury our heads in the sand and pretend none of it exist. We are so absorbed in our own worlds that we have created that have removed us from any thoughts of anything that we cannot "see" with our physical eyes. We have come to accept the rules that were created by those before us and accepted them, whether or not we believe them. We are terrified to "think for ourselves". Many of us have so much fear inside of us that we become paralyzed at the mere thought of there being anything beyond our day to day living. We do not care "Why?"
Recently, a great musical figure died, Michael Jackson. So many people in this world were more concern about his personal life than the artistry he shared with the world. I realized what an unusual human being this person must have been to have contributed so much good to the world, yet "why was he associated with so much perverted behaviour?" OR.......was that perverted behaviour? Do we really know? Most only knew what was written in newspapers, etc. But who exactly was this human being? (In the eyes of The Universe) During my readings once I discovered that the person who had The Bible translated, enabling the masses to read it with ease was a Homosexual. The King James Version of The Holy Bible. King James was a publicly known homosexual. Yet he had the compassion to make sure all man at that time would be able to understand this book, rather than just the aristocracy. It brought me to think to myself, why was his sexual orientation so much more important to the religious people of our time??? There has to be a reason for so many things that go on in this Universe, yet so many humans pick and choose which we want to accept or not accept......according to our prejudices. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
I still remember once when I was at my weakest moment, when my beloved Anderson was so ill and I looked at him and it broke my heart and suddenly my sorrow turned to incredible anger. I yelled out loud and clear, I HATE GOD! Anderson looked at me with a frail but stern and angry expression and screamed at me, SHUT UP! DO NOT SAY THAT! I replied, "Why not? God does horrible things to make us feel bad!" He yelled right back at me and said, "NO. YOU ARE JUST ANGRY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HAVING THINGS THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO BE OR THE WAY YOU THINK THEY SHOULD BE! YOU ARE NOT GOD". I was absolutely speechless. I just sat down and was silent for the longest time.
Later I will share many more of my OBEs with you.

Love and Light!
Marshall