THE VICTIMS!

One of the best lessons I have learned thus far during this incredible journey is, DO NOT SEE YOURSELF AS A "VICTIM"  no matter what happens!
Why?  Because just about everything in our life is suppose to be the way it is when and if it happens to us, good or not so good.
Recently, one of the illusions that happened to me in physical reality as a child slowly started to make sense to me.  As a small boy I was always, as I have mentioned previously, living somewhat in a total fantasy world.  This was in all probability one of the reasons I was able to go forward with my life after having had such devastating events happen to me without falling apart and permitting them to hold me back from going forward.  (The sadness inside my spirit was put on "hold")
Being somewhat small for my age always as a kid, it was assumed by others that I was "weak", "fragile".  Nope, not me.  Maybe I over compensated for my size by being a really "bad little boy!" Aahahahhahah!  I was totally NOT a "Macho Boy".  BUT, my brother was always the macho one and put great efforts into being one.  I was considered totally "crazy" by some, because all noticed that Little Marshall was never afraid of anybody or anything!  (Maybe somewhat shy, but never afraid).  I was only one year older than my brother, yet he considered me his OLDER BROTHER when he got into trouble with the guys.  Like most kids, telling those that messed with you that  you were going to go get your older brother was a scary thing.  The funny thing about me was that I was not known for my intimidating appearance, but for BEING TOTALLY CRAZY when it came to fighting!  I would fight anybody.  I was what you called, A DIRTY FIGHTER!  I had no problem using my fists, my nails, my feet, baseball bats, stones, etc.  To me a fight was an event of surviving.  There were no rules!  I laugh to myself sometimes when I remember those times in our life.  My brother was also to timid he had difficulty even speaking up for himself to intimidate the other guys with words!  He would get me to speak to them..... (I was great with words, also the "biggest actor and liar" in the world!)  The other boys would try to scare me by questioning as to why my brother did not speak for himself???  My favorite comeback was always, HE DOES NOT SPEAK ENGLISH!  (AAAhahahahah, we both spoke, ONLY ENGLISH!) 
But, I always felt "alone", in my own little world.  My brother and I lived primarily most of the times with my Grandmother.  (My Mother's Mother)  My Grandmother was a very young Grandmother, she was barely 16 when my Mother was born.  Most assumed, including myself, that my brother was her "favorite".  All my life I considered myself, "second" in her life in comparison to my brother.  Yet, I never played the VICTIM.  It always seemed natural for me to just accept it and keep moving forward.  Moving on and not letting things get in my way that might hold me back from achieving anything that I wanted in life. 
My brother seemed to be handed the good things "first" by her, and given special treatment by her and I seemed to be always "second".  Yes, being a little boy and watching these things happen to me could have made me sulk and always be sad and not move on.  BUT, looking back, I never did..... I always found things that would compensate for those times that made me happy.  Some were just imaginary thoughts.
I felt very much alone many times, but it seemed that I just stepped forward and found distractions to make me feel happy and joyous in spite of these incidents. 
For some reasons during those times, I still loved my Grandmother and cherished the times we had together, yet I never at the time stopped to think "why?".  I seemed to grow up just accepting the fact that I would always be "second" in my Grandmother's eyes.  I never really realized what an amazing thing was happening to my development as a person during all of those years while spending time with my Grandmother on this earth.  I only in my later adult years, after she had "crossed-over" found out what absolutely amazing things were being instilled in my life by her for all of those years of believing I was "second" in her eyes!  I later discovered the most incredible lessons that I was being taught during my time with her, that giving my soul powerful and enormous LIGHT to make my journey a strong one on this planet called Earth! 
I would like to share my thoughts with all in the hopes that by sharing that I have come to be awaken to about these situations that many might consider cruel and hurtful.  You might want to go deep within your soul and meditate and find the similarities of these special events in my life as a growing spirit with my Grandmother.  Maybe, just maybe, you too will stop and say to yourself, WOW.....I MUST STOP BEING A VICTIM!  You too might consider the idea that you too have learned or can learn by "seeing" the things that happened to you as magnificent lessons, rather than hurtful moments.  And you too will grow tremendously during your journey.

More later.......
Love and Light!

Marshall